Rules of Likeability

Posted by 14 August, 2008
Have you ever noticed that a lot of successful people are also very likeable? Think about it. How will you determine who you vote for in the upcoming election? Sure, where one stands on the issues is important, but if you don’t like the guy or gal running, how can you cast your vote in their favor? Likewise, if you interview someone for a position at your company, all qualifications being equal, are you more likely to hire a candidate you like or the one you merely tolerate?
Marc and Angel posted an article that described the 21 Keys to Magnetic Likeability.
The first key is to “Be Attentive to Others and Never Stop Listening”. I completely agree with that. If you look around the room you will find the most important person isn’t the one who is talking the most, it’s the person that is engaging others in conversation. The most successful person asks questions, encouraging other participant to share their thoughts. Not only is the successful person possibly learning something new, but he/she is interested in the person speaking thus leaving a positive impression by making the speaker feel important.
Edward over at Red Deer Blog states that it’s not who you know, it’s who you know that likes you. (link to article)
He goes on to say:
If there was just one thing that could impact our lives in a positive way, what would it be?
In search of an answer, I tried to think of who I knew that seemed to have a charmed, happy and profitable life? I could think of many people, some I knew and some I read about. So I asked myself, what do they have in common? And the answer is…..

“they are all likeable”

People who are likeable tend to get the best jobs, build the best companies, have more friends, better relationships and enjoy life more. Sounds good, right? But that doesn’t even touch the benefits of being likeable. Here are a few more benefits;

* Doctors give more time and better care to patients they like
* Likeability is the most consitent predictor of election results
* Likeable people inspire others to give more
* They get better and quicker service from retail businesses
* Likeable students get better marks from teachers
* They get forgiven quicker for misdeeds (I need that one)
* They have better physical and mental health
* Live longer and happier lives

If those traits are indeed true then sign me up! I want to be likeable.

Lately, I’ve been very aware of how much I talk and how much I encourage others to speak. I’m usually VERY talkative and tend to dominate conversations, but lately I’ve been trying to focus on key questions and lots of eye contact to let the person know that I think what they’re saying is important.

In relation to work and my two businesses, being likeable could really help me in those ventures. If I’m likeable, I’m likelier to get more raises with possible promotions. I have to admit that I am introverted around my boss and many of my co-workers, so consider that a work in progress. However, if a visitor comes into our lab, I’m always very engaging. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why. In the future I resolve to be more talkative and engage my co-workers in conversation by asking questions with a concentration on my superiors.
For my two businesses, I will work on my networking skills when I speak to other real estate investors or potential team members (realtors, mortgage brokers, contracters, etc.). Is a homeowner going to sell her house to a person she really likes, or to someone she only marginally likes? For my blog, I have been asking people if they would be interested in writing a guest post, and in return I have been complimenting them on their work at achieving their various goals. Complimenting people is just one more step in my journey to Likeability.
I was able to practice my networking and likeability skills last night at a real estate investing meeting. I usually feel a bit awkward going up to strangers, but I made it a point to spend quality time with as many people as I could. I thought I did well by encouraging the people to talk about themselves and I feel that doing this at every meeting will continue to enhance my networking and likeability skills.
Now I just need to figure out a way to gauge my likeability in order to track my success, or see what I need to work on so that I can improve in those areas. Does anyone out there have any ideas as to how to achieve this? I am open to any and all suggestions.

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