Rules of Likeability

Posted by 14 August, 2008 (0) Comment
Have you ever noticed that a lot of successful people are also very likeable? Think about it. How will you determine who you vote for in the upcoming election? Sure, where one stands on the issues is important, but if you don’t like the guy or gal running, how can you cast your vote in their favor? Likewise, if you interview someone for a position at your company, all qualifications being equal, are you more likely to hire a candidate you like or the one you merely tolerate?
Marc and Angel posted an article that described the 21 Keys to Magnetic Likeability.
The first key is to “Be Attentive to Others and Never Stop Listening”. I completely agree with that. If you look around the room you will find the most important person isn’t the one who is talking the most, it’s the person that is engaging others in conversation. The most successful person asks questions, encouraging other participant to share their thoughts. Not only is the successful person possibly learning something new, but he/she is interested in the person speaking thus leaving a positive impression by making the speaker feel important.
Edward over at Red Deer Blog states that it’s not who you know, it’s who you know that likes you. (link to article)
He goes on to say:
If there was just one thing that could impact our lives in a positive way, what would it be?
In search of an answer, I tried to think of who I knew that seemed to have a charmed, happy and profitable life? I could think of many people, some I knew and some I read about. So I asked myself, what do they have in common? And the answer is…..

“they are all likeable”

People who are likeable tend to get the best jobs, build the best companies, have more friends, better relationships and enjoy life more. Sounds good, right? But that doesn’t even touch the benefits of being likeable. Here are a few more benefits;

* Doctors give more time and better care to patients they like
* Likeability is the most consitent predictor of election results
* Likeable people inspire others to give more
* They get better and quicker service from retail businesses
* Likeable students get better marks from teachers
* They get forgiven quicker for misdeeds (I need that one)
* They have better physical and mental health
* Live longer and happier lives

If those traits are indeed true then sign me up! I want to be likeable.

Lately, I’ve been very aware of how much I talk and how much I encourage others to speak. I’m usually VERY talkative and tend to dominate conversations, but lately I’ve been trying to focus on key questions and lots of eye contact to let the person know that I think what they’re saying is important.

In relation to work and my two businesses, being likeable could really help me in those ventures. If I’m likeable, I’m likelier to get more raises with possible promotions. I have to admit that I am introverted around my boss and many of my co-workers, so consider that a work in progress. However, if a visitor comes into our lab, I’m always very engaging. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why. In the future I resolve to be more talkative and engage my co-workers in conversation by asking questions with a concentration on my superiors.
For my two businesses, I will work on my networking skills when I speak to other real estate investors or potential team members (realtors, mortgage brokers, contracters, etc.). Is a homeowner going to sell her house to a person she really likes, or to someone she only marginally likes? For my blog, I have been asking people if they would be interested in writing a guest post, and in return I have been complimenting them on their work at achieving their various goals. Complimenting people is just one more step in my journey to Likeability.
I was able to practice my networking and likeability skills last night at a real estate investing meeting. I usually feel a bit awkward going up to strangers, but I made it a point to spend quality time with as many people as I could. I thought I did well by encouraging the people to talk about themselves and I feel that doing this at every meeting will continue to enhance my networking and likeability skills.
Now I just need to figure out a way to gauge my likeability in order to track my success, or see what I need to work on so that I can improve in those areas. Does anyone out there have any ideas as to how to achieve this? I am open to any and all suggestions.
Categories : Personal Development Tags :

Service First!

Posted by 27 July, 2008 (0) Comment

I need to think about service instead of keeping my eye on the green. If someone expects that I will give them a certain level of service, I need to perform to that level and beyond. My efforts should be focused on doing a thorough job and keeping my customer happy in whatever I do. I will tell you that it is pretty difficult to do so especially with my intense focus on finances particularly relating to paying off debt and accumulating savings. It’s especially difficult when I have several financial goals that I am trying to meet. I’ve always had a fascination with money.

So with all of these financial pressures and focus on paying debt down and accumulating savings, how does one focus on service? I see Google as a good example. The Google focus on service is number one and the way I see it, if that mantra can work for a small unknown like Google (ha!), then it can work for me too. If you agree, it may be worth your time to look at “Ten Things that Google has Found to be True“.

I think Brian Kim posted a very nice article on the problem with chasing money.

Here is an excerpt from that article:

“By chasing money, you tend to become so focused on the external means of doing so that you activate an unnatural process because you constantly focus outside yourself, which prevents you from focusing internally on how best you can serve. All the avenues that people pursue to chase the almighty dollar have the hidden flaw of taking you out of the equation. By constantly focusing on finding a “vehicle” outside yourself to make money, it stops you from asking the right questions to put the focus back on you because that’s the correct solid foundation you want to work off of. Questions such as: What am I good at? Where do my strengths, interests, and talents lie? How can I best use these to serve others? You have to factor YOU into the equation.


Here’s a link to his article. That sounds pretty convincing to me.

In the end I have two businesses that I am operating or trying to operate. My take on “service first and the money will follow” is that my real estate investing business and this blog are based on referrals and my ability to either help homeowners in their situation or produce quality content with this blog, respectively. Real estate investing is a referral business and if I go out of my way to help someone protect their most valuable asset, do you think they will remember that good deed and, for that matter, me? I would hope so! The same could be said for my blog. I hope that by posting my progress to financial independence, I can inspire others to achieve the same goal. If I can help someone be a success then that will make me a success or at the very least make me feel good about my contribution to society.

Categories : Personal Development Tags :

Four Most Common Forms of Excusitis

Posted by 9 July, 2008 (0) Comment

I am reading a book, The Magic of Thinking BIG, by David Schwartz. I will give a short book review once I am finished, but I wanted to share a portion of the book with you, my one reader :). He introduces his readers to the conceptual four most common forms of excusitis (disease of having an excuse for a certain attribute). According to Schwartz, the four most common forms of excusitis are as follows:

1. Health Excusitis

2. Intelligence Excusitis

3. Age Excusitis

4. Luck Excusitis

I’m going to discuss Health Excusitis because I thought that section contained some pretty interesting quotes and points to consider.

A young man was speaking to Dr. Schwartz about a potential health problem he had, and as a result the young man thought he could not be successful due to his health issue. Dr. Schwartz went on give his recommendations of what the young man should do. In his third recommendation he related a story about a friend of his – a lawyer who had an arrested case of tuberculosis. “This friend knew he would have to live a regulated life but this hasn’t stopped him from practicing law, rearing a fine family, and really enjoying life. My friend who is now 78 years old, expresses his philosophy in these words: “I’m going to live until I die and I’m not going to get life and death confused. While I’m on this earth I’m going to live. Why be only half alive? Every minute a person spends worrying about dying is just one minute that fellow might as well have been dead.”

I thought this was a pretty cool excerpt from the book and I wanted to share it. I know I’ve made a TON of excuses why I did not start this blog sooner. I’ve also made a lot of excuses pertaining to why my wife and I haven’t done a real estate deal.

I’ve obviously started the blog and now I need to rectify not having done a real estate deal. We are going to speak with a homeowner this weekend. This person was referred to us from a person we met at a networking meeting (networking works!). I’ve also started mailing out postcards again.

Stop making excuses and make it a great day!

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World Domination by Chris Guillebeau

Posted by 3 July, 2008 (0) Comment

I read this e-book from Chris Guillebeau. I found it to be particularly interesting. I read a lot of motivation essays and articles, but this e-book has a bit of a different tone. The title of the e-book is “World Domination”. If that doesn’t get your attention, then you may not have a pulse. He states that while titled “World Domination”, the e-book is for the minority seeking a remarkable life.

Chris then details 11 ways to be unremarkably average. My personal favorite is:
11. Jumping through hoops and checking off boxes.

The rest of the 11 ways to be unremarkably average can be found here: link.

Chris claims that the two most important questions in the universe are:

1. What do you really want to get out of life? Chris refers to an exercise titled the “Perfect World” exercise. Here is the link for the workbook: link. I plan to go through this workbook in a few future posts.

My short answer: I want to make my wife happy and I want to be happy. I want to lead a fulfilling life where I can make a positive impact on someone else’s life. It’s my life and I want to do what I want, when I want. I assume that I will be altering my answer in the near future.

2. What can you offer the world that no one else can?

Wow. That’s a tough question and one that will most likely take many, many years to answer.

I do not know nor have I ever spoken or communicated with the author, but if you are not interested in the “norm”, this is a great read. I know I felt exhilarated after reading it. I’ll close with a quote by Robert Bruce found in the e-book: “You’ll never crush your own mediocrity working only four hours a week”. Go read this e-book, and go be remarkable!

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Green Triangle

Posted by 29 June, 2008 (0) Comment

I read about the Green Triangle briefly in Getting a Life. It was an interesting concept that I hadn’t really thought about. The Green Triangle is the relationship between health, money, and environment. It draws a connection between them and, in Callenbach‘s words, “Any time you do something beneficial for one of them, you will inevitably also do something beneficial for the other two, whether you’re hoping to or not”.

My wife and I have been very interested in all three of these areas for a while, but we’ve only recently been taking action. My wife and I have been tracking our expenses and have been looking very carefully at how we spend our money. We’ve also been consistently running for the past few months. In addition to that, for the sake of saving money initially, we’ve been eating at home more often. The food we’ve been eating hasn’t been freshly prepared from scratch like we’d want it, but we’ve been consciously trying to exclude bad things from our diet such as fast food, high fructose, and foods with hydrogenated oils. The next step for us is to hopefully prepare meals in advance and freeze them and pull them out and quickly prepare as needed.

I apologize for the short post. I hope to “stockpile” a few posts this week as I will be going on a business trip a week from today.

Categories : Life Balance,Uncategorized Tags :